Hello everyone. Today I will talk about self- image.

Self- image and confidence is a hard topic. And for most of us, we lack both of them.

I have struggled with my self- image and confidence since forever. It was not quite there that I thought I was so much uglier and that everyone else was so much better than me. It was more like the way that I wouldn’t allow myself to be confident or belive in myself in fear of being treated like I’m selfish in a bad way.

And when you are batteling with depression and an unhealthy relationship where you have so little contact with your friends and family you get so so low that you do almost anything to get attention from others just to feel you are being seen.

Of course, when my dad, grandmother and grandad died my confidence got a blow. It was worst when my dad died since he was and always will be my number one man in my life. He was also my rock and he was always there for me, I could just give him a call and tell him I wanted to come home and he would do pretty much anything to get me home (unless I was so far away that it was very expensive and I allready had a date and tickets for when I was going home). So when he died I hit rock bottom. I was so far away from being me and my depression was hitting me again in high speed. It was so bad that I was afraid of knives for I did not trust myself with them in my hands.

After awhile I started to get better and then me and Kim Ove became a couple and then I got the news from my gynocologist that if I didn’t get a conization I was in high danger of getting cervical cancer (thats worse than pregnancy scares), when that finally was over my grandmother was getting so much worse from her cancer so fast that I was seeing her fade away right infront of my eyes (I was living with her). And after all this I decided to really work on my mental health and I got so good that I was starting to feel good about myself and I was not afraid of showing it. I still had my acne but that did not stop me at all.

And then summer came along and I was so happy. I had found Tonya Leigh and french kiss life (now the school of self-image) and I was ready to be my extrodinary self and suddenly I got a text that my last living grandparent had died. And I sat there wondering why everyone that I cared about died. They all should have many more years to live. That and the fact that I was so sick of my acne, my bloating and my weight gain gave me an seriously blow to my mental state and my confidence that I was starting to see myself loose all that I worked so hard for.

Today, when I write this I can clearly say that I worked my ass off and I got past it. My acne is getting better for each day, I work out 2-3 times a week, I dress up in clothes that make me feel that I can counqer the world, I use makeup on those days when I feel the need to remind myself that I am strong, independent, wealthy (not in money but everything else), and confident. And you all can be this extrodinary person too, but you have to put in all the work that is needed. Maybe need to aproach all this in a totally different way than I did, but can get there. And the first step is to decied it, the next step is to set a goal you can work towards and then you will find your way.

Love Emilie ❤