Hello everyone. It’s been a while since last time.

I am on my way to today’s class and as I am sitting here thinking of my life I realized that I feel conflicted. Well, maybe not conflicted but I feel like I should want to do something else. As many of you know I love wearing dresses and heels, and I am pretty much always using red lipstick. I’m also working at a gym and am taking my personal trainer education which means that I also use gym clothes quite a bit. And due to this, I feel I contradict myself all the time. Like I can’t decide if I am the gym clothes kind of person, or the dresses and red lipstick kind of person.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way, and that it is completely fine to like both and use both. I also know that when I put on my gym clothes my mindset goes straight to work mode or workout mode. And when I put on a dress and lipstick, my mind shifts into a free time mode.

Yet, when I see others who work in different kinds of fields they often use the same kind of clothes both at home and at work (unless there are specific uniforms for that type of work). So I think I feel this way because there is such a big difference between my work life and personal life. I do believe that I think that I should want to dress similary when I am at work as to when I am home. And with this kind of thinking, I feel that I should want to work with something else or wear gym clothes in my free time as well as at work.

I do know that I love my work, and I look forward to helping others have a healthier way of living no matter what if they want to lose weight, build muscles or just stay active. I also know that when I am not at work I will keep using my dresses, heels, and red lipstick. This is who I am, and want to be.

I may be living in a small town where people may be judging me for who I am and how I dress, but that is their problem, not mine. And I know that if I change just to fit in I will be miserable and trigger my long-lost depression back. I have worked so hard for so many years to come here where I am with my mental health to even consider going back.

Love
Emilie Cathrin ❤