This week I am being honest about my relationship with food, my addiction with energy drinks and how my body is feeling for the most time.

Heavy

As I am starting to write this posts I am feeling so done! I started my day as normal. I got up from bed, pulled out my workout clothes and the dress for after my workout. I went to the bathroom and realized my period is back. Back as in since I went on my medication in april my bleeding has been strange, almost no blood for up to 8 days, yet regulary. I am normally a heavy bleeder for the second day and at times I can get pretty painful cramps. And today it was back to being heavy and cramping.

Normally I would skip my workout on those days, but figured that I could skip the cardio and strength part of the workout and focus solely on yoga to try and releave some of the pain. I am so glad I chose to do that because my mind was on vacation and my balance almost non existent so by just doing some stretches I felt a bit normal again.

After my workout I went to store and bought some warm food and an energy drink and then went to have lunch with my man and his colleagues before going to the library to write. As I was walking from his workplace and to the library I felt so heavy and bloated and in pain.

The day after I realized that much of the tension I had was because I had a dentist appointment to remove one of my wisdome teeth and I have a real terror of going to the dentist.

So a combitation of the tension, heavyness and pain was the dentist appointment, my period and my eating.

I do know that so much of this is hugely improved if I work on my relationship with food and quit drinking enery drinks every singel day. Of course, since this has been going on for several years it’s not that “easy” to do.

But if I take one day at the time, are talking in a loving way towards myself and not beating myself up when I have a “set back” so much is done.

Energy Drinks

I am hugely addicted to energy drinks. At times I can drink up to three cans of energy drinks a day. Thats 1,5litres of energy drinks. That is not healthy for anyone!

I remember when I went to primary school (year 1-10, age 6-16) and in year 9 we used to go to the store and buy some microwave food and energy drinks that we used to heat up and eat and drink energy drinks while we walked back to school. Back then it was Burn enery drink and Battery energy drink. Red Bull did come to Norway years later. And yes, we were allowed to go the store in a our lunch.

A year later I remember drinking so much energy drinks that summer when I was visiting my grandmother that I became nauseous just thinking about energy drinks. So I did quit! I was 16 that summer, and it wasn’t until 9-10 years later that I tried one again. And since then it has become an addiction! And there is so much more to choose from today then it was back then. I have been drinking energy drinks for 9 years now.

The sadest part about this is the fact that I actually like coffee! Regulary black coffee and Cafè au Lait. I also have a Dolce Gusto coffee capsule machine I can use everyday to get my cup of coffee. And for those warm days when we want something cold I could easely make iced coffee.
Or I could find some iced tea with coffein in it. It’s really that simple.

And to be honest. I really don’t want my son growing up seeing me drinking energy drinks all the time and then start to drink it himself when he gets older.

So from today I am promizing myself and all of you that I will reduce my intake of energy drinks and by the July 15th I will only consume energy drinks when I am offered one when I am visiting others or someone is buying some and giving it to me as gifts.

By July 15th I will update you all on how it’s going, how much I have been drinking and how many I have bought myself or been served when visiting others.

It’s time to change my patterns. A powerful woman is not addicted to energy drinks. She is savouring a cup of coffee or an cup of cafè au lait.

Relationship with Food

I don’t find joy or pleasure around food. I know many would call me a picky eater, I would not go that far. But I do have a challenging relationship with food. And it started in my early childhood. I have always had trouble chewing clean/unprocessed meat. Think like steak and biff kind of meats. If it wasn’t cooked so much that it just fell apart when you looked at it I could not chew it. It just ended up as a big lump in my mouth then I had to spit out, I could not for the love of me swallow it without choking on it. So I have never been a big meatlover. But I was forced to eat the meat nevertheless.

What I did love to eat was fish! Cooked, fryed or grilled. It didn’t matter. I would eat and eat and eat. It was high quality fish also. My father used to go fishing with fishnets and bring home lots of different kinds of fish.

After I moved to my father in my childhood I got to eat lots more fish and my father normally tried to only have clean/unprocessed meat when I wasn’t home. Of course it wasn’t always like this. But the only “rule” my father had regarding to food and dinner was that you either eat whats on the table (because there is always something on the table that you like) or you don’t eat until the next meal. No one forced you to eat, but there would never be made a second dish for dinner. This “rule” I have taken with me and we are kind of implementing it with our son. He is not forced to eat what’s for dinner, but because of different reasons he gets a slice of bread with something “dull” on it. Usually he eats what we eat and he has a more healthy relationship with food then we have.

That rule has made it easy for me to go to others and eat. There are a few things that I simply can’t stand to eat, but those things are usually not served when you invite guests. I am not a fan of many things, but I can eat almost anything if someone served it to me. Also I can’t eat anything that contains peanut due to allergy. So that is a medical reason for why I can’t.

So for the most part my diet is not the best for the time being. I usually go straight to the store when I step out of the bus in the morning to buy chocolate and energy drinks and eat the chocolate before my workout and drink my energy drink while I workout. I often go the store underneath the gym to buy some warm food for lunch as I am heading towards the library several days a week (I am terrified to look at the numbers for this). Then we often go for the ultraprocessed foods for dinners because it’s fast and easy to make. And often that is the last meal I eat in a day and we normally eat dinner around 4pm.

This is the last week we have work before we take vacation and I have decided that we are going to have more meals that are good for our bodies and work towards a meal plan that will give us more energy, deeper sleep, better bowlmovements (ibs lady here) and restore our hormones back to whats good for our bodies.

There are other factors that plays a big part in why it will be easier to follow through with this from the day we are finished with our vacation, but that is things I can’t write about just yet. It will hopefully be disclosed in the middle of July

Love
Emilie Cathrin